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Here is a product that I am going to buy my husband. It can be found at Target or Amazon. It contains the following: desktop deckchair *1 fun-sized beach ball *1 small-yet-perfectly-formed sunshade *Genuine sand *1 CD-Rom (Mac/PC Compatible) backdrop for your computer." I think others could use this, I think it retails for $15. So spread your sand and prop your umbrella so you can vacation in your cube!

We were suppose to go together to Chicago as a family to celebrate a late Christmas with my family. We waited until this weekend, MLK holiday, to make sure that between my work schedule and Jason's we would not have to take off too much time. WELL, as of yesterday, my husband's vacation time was REVOKED. Reference picture:

Now, I realize that this was a "request" to have my husband to stay back and work over the weekend and next week. In order to do this he had to cancel this vacation and that was ultimately his decision and he chose to stay. Though if he had chosen the later, what would this mean for his job? He is stuck between a rock and a hard place, or perhaps between the cats in the cradle. : ) He has a responsibility to his job first so that he can "provide" for the family. (my salary doesn't "provide"). This responsibility does come at an expense to the family. When the kids look back at pictures of Christmas 2007 with my family... there will be a missing link... yeah Daddy? Where is he? It is at the expense of his SANITY. Jason hasn't had a "vacation" week off since July. I know he is not the only person who would benefit from the Office Vacation Kit. I feel bad complaining because I try to be supportive, not a nag. I know he isn't happy to miss our vacation (we are leaving without him). So he thinks I am unhappy. I am not unhappy. I am not pleased at the demands of the job and what it means for us. Perhaps if I was married to a physician who was unable to go on vacation because he was saving lives, maybe I would feel better? Like I said when he was pitching a canned food item for kids or for a canned drink "saving the world...making one FAT kid fatter at a time!", or at least giving me job security. That is my bitterness talking.. take note.

This just comes a a crappy time... it is just the icing on the cake for my frustration. I am in the middle of trying to figure out what I am going to do next year when Jude has AM Kindergarten and Lily in AM preschool. I have to go back to work evenings so that I can transport them back and forth. I am trying to work this out between my sitter and work. One of my biggest frustrations is that Jason can not make the commitment to pick our children up from the sitter 3 days a week, perhaps two, but not three. SWEET. This falls back on me. So I will try to work it out, sacrificing weekend time for the family by working weekends again to accommodate his schedule. He goes in on average at 6:30 am and returns home around 6:15 pm, unless it is my day to work. Then he either drops off (getting to work around 9) or picks up (leaving work at 4:15). This occurs 3 days one week, two the next. I am thankful he has a good job and that he is motivated and not a LOSER who doesn't want to work. Jason thinks that I am unhappy because I have to tell myself weekly how lucky we are to keep the bitterness away. We are lucky, but sometimes I am allowed to vent and feel bitter. Today, I am bitter.